So I've been in Brazil for the World Cup, and for a vacation from my extremely stressful job. Copacabana Beach is an amazing place, you should visit sometime!
Anywho, since I was on vacation and I spent my days relaxing and sun bathing, I haven't hit the gym in what seems like forever. So I decided to go to the gym and work on my muscles. As I was benching 8 plates (in regular weight lifting warm-up fashion), an old friend of my appeared out from behind one of the machines, almost like a wild Pokemon. After speaking briefly with my old friend, he challenged me to a game I had heard of, but was unfamiliar with, squash. Since the two of us had been bigger rivals that Ash and Gary, I decided to accept his challenge. Thus after a long 8 hour shift of lifting, I returned home to see if I had any "squash" equipment. I began checking my kitchen, I searched the pullout drawers in the fridge, behind the mayo, in the cupboard and even under the sink. No squash. I then went into my backyard to check for squash in the garden. Still no squash. After my bamboozlement for lack of squash and squash related products in my possession, I decided to jump over the neighboring fences to search there gardens. My eyes then lit up, I saw the tag sticking out of the ground. It said "Squash", and it was beautiful. In an instance I went from a feeling of disarray and bamboozlment to a feeling of an apotheosis, I had transformed into the God of Hide and Seek. With my transformation, I could not only find squash and squash related equipment, but I could even find Waldo. As I was basking in the light as it was shining on my glory, in a split second it was all ruined. Similar to that of Eminem, I snapped back to reality as my neighbor began to chase me around his yard with a shovel because I had dug up his prize winning Squash, and I was not about ending up like that girl on vine ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7LtLDbMVlI&feature=youtube_gdata_player). Miraculously, I had remembered not to skip leg day today, yet I still had the strength and endurance to out pace the 77 year old man and return safely to my own residence. That was a close call! For something that is supposed to be a fun competitive game, this is a really dangerous activity. I then realized a safer route, the grocery store! How could I be so delusional and close minded? So I hopped in the ladies-magnet (my Prius) and sped off 5 km/h under the speed limit all the way to the grocery store. I don't want to be too reckless. As I pulled into the parking lot, there were these teenagers in the parking lot who were up to no good, they started causing trouble in my neighborhood, I got into one little fight and my mom got scared, she said " You're 29 and you get beat up by kids from Bel-Air!". Mom you're embarrassing me jeez. Anyways, as I begin to drift into my parking spot, the punks began to whistle at me as if they were construction workers on their lunch break. So I revved the engine of the Prius, roared like a T-Rex at a comedy festival. It's the v-tec bro, and its slammed, bro. #StanceNation. So after parking the lambo/lady-magnet/Prius, I went inside. You wouldn't believe the amount of squash I found! But the problem was, which squash should I choose? I grabbed at least 15 just to be safe, after all I still had no idea what we were doing in this game. Different shapes, different sizes. At checkout my total came to 54.75, 54.75! This game better be fun or this is a waste of money! I decided to purchase a bottle of Sprite aswell because I was feeling a tad on the wild side. So I then drove over to the community center, parked the lady-magnet and strapped on the sweatbands. Things were about to get serious. I couldn't find anything to carry the squash merchandise into the training facility so I borrowed my sisters My Little Pony Backpack. Fresh to Death. Or something like that I'm not sure how the saying goes. I proceed into the the community center and begin to set up my squash all around the squash court. I figured I would play a defensive and counter attacking style of play, so I assembled the biggersquash in the back court, and the smaller, more mobile squash in the front court. As I am setting up, a small rubber ball gets smashed off my backside, and I hear a voice call out " Old Friend! We're playing Squash, not playing with Squash!" Wow. Was I disappointed. At least my vegetable friends had promising futures in the veggie tales movies, but for their Squash game activity, they were deeply saddened. Like look at the picture at the top if this post, that is Cornelius and he wept the most. Luckily for me my friend had a spare racket and we had a smashing game of squash! What a day, I'm exhausted and embarrassed by the events that unfolded.
Anywho, since I was on vacation and I spent my days relaxing and sun bathing, I haven't hit the gym in what seems like forever. So I decided to go to the gym and work on my muscles. As I was benching 8 plates (in regular weight lifting warm-up fashion), an old friend of my appeared out from behind one of the machines, almost like a wild Pokemon. After speaking briefly with my old friend, he challenged me to a game I had heard of, but was unfamiliar with, squash. Since the two of us had been bigger rivals that Ash and Gary, I decided to accept his challenge. Thus after a long 8 hour shift of lifting, I returned home to see if I had any "squash" equipment. I began checking my kitchen, I searched the pullout drawers in the fridge, behind the mayo, in the cupboard and even under the sink. No squash. I then went into my backyard to check for squash in the garden. Still no squash. After my bamboozlement for lack of squash and squash related products in my possession, I decided to jump over the neighboring fences to search there gardens. My eyes then lit up, I saw the tag sticking out of the ground. It said "Squash", and it was beautiful. In an instance I went from a feeling of disarray and bamboozlment to a feeling of an apotheosis, I had transformed into the God of Hide and Seek. With my transformation, I could not only find squash and squash related equipment, but I could even find Waldo. As I was basking in the light as it was shining on my glory, in a split second it was all ruined. Similar to that of Eminem, I snapped back to reality as my neighbor began to chase me around his yard with a shovel because I had dug up his prize winning Squash, and I was not about ending up like that girl on vine ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7LtLDbMVlI&feature=youtube_gdata_player). Miraculously, I had remembered not to skip leg day today, yet I still had the strength and endurance to out pace the 77 year old man and return safely to my own residence. That was a close call! For something that is supposed to be a fun competitive game, this is a really dangerous activity. I then realized a safer route, the grocery store! How could I be so delusional and close minded? So I hopped in the ladies-magnet (my Prius) and sped off 5 km/h under the speed limit all the way to the grocery store. I don't want to be too reckless. As I pulled into the parking lot, there were these teenagers in the parking lot who were up to no good, they started causing trouble in my neighborhood, I got into one little fight and my mom got scared, she said " You're 29 and you get beat up by kids from Bel-Air!". Mom you're embarrassing me jeez. Anyways, as I begin to drift into my parking spot, the punks began to whistle at me as if they were construction workers on their lunch break. So I revved the engine of the Prius, roared like a T-Rex at a comedy festival. It's the v-tec bro, and its slammed, bro. #StanceNation. So after parking the lambo/lady-magnet/Prius, I went inside. You wouldn't believe the amount of squash I found! But the problem was, which squash should I choose? I grabbed at least 15 just to be safe, after all I still had no idea what we were doing in this game. Different shapes, different sizes. At checkout my total came to 54.75, 54.75! This game better be fun or this is a waste of money! I decided to purchase a bottle of Sprite aswell because I was feeling a tad on the wild side. So I then drove over to the community center, parked the lady-magnet and strapped on the sweatbands. Things were about to get serious. I couldn't find anything to carry the squash merchandise into the training facility so I borrowed my sisters My Little Pony Backpack. Fresh to Death. Or something like that I'm not sure how the saying goes. I proceed into the the community center and begin to set up my squash all around the squash court. I figured I would play a defensive and counter attacking style of play, so I assembled the biggersquash in the back court, and the smaller, more mobile squash in the front court. As I am setting up, a small rubber ball gets smashed off my backside, and I hear a voice call out " Old Friend! We're playing Squash, not playing with Squash!" Wow. Was I disappointed. At least my vegetable friends had promising futures in the veggie tales movies, but for their Squash game activity, they were deeply saddened. Like look at the picture at the top if this post, that is Cornelius and he wept the most. Luckily for me my friend had a spare racket and we had a smashing game of squash! What a day, I'm exhausted and embarrassed by the events that unfolded.